Human and power

Power is great, power is sweet to hold , to use and to hold on to forever but funny enough no mortal is that opportune.

Whenever one is privileged to be in a position of power, remember that one day you will relinquish it and if you clinch on to power and refuse to leave it, power will leave you and find its way into the territory of another person. Therfore, whatever power you have, do not misuse or use it negatively especially against others because no mortal is a permanent custodian of power.

Boys sexuality

The Oluwadamilola Abe network,Thoan organised a summit on raising:Beaming, Obliging, Youthful, Savvy(BOYS) via Facebook on 4th and 5th July 2020.
I was in attendance and i learnt some lessons from the speakers, though i did remote listening as  networks were sometimes epileptic considering Nigerian data network and i also had other engagements during the period but i learnt some lessons from the speakers atleast the ones i listened to  did justice to those topics as given.

One of such was Ogunlade Temitope.
According to him, two pillars will help understand boys on self control of their sexual urges. *Perception and perspective*

Perception: What a boy should know. *When we begin to know ourself we destroy ourself*
*Perspective* addresses how the boy child should see what he is experiencing.

At puberty, early puberty between ages 11 to 13, boys develop psychologically and bodily with signs like deeper voice, private part enlargement and its change to darker colour, bigger scrotum etc. He experiences wet dreams and probably ejaculates when asleep. At this point, he also develops  emotions towards the opposite gender depending on his temperaments while some are overtly expressed, others are not. If all these are not properly handled, then unexplained mood swing, low self esteem takes over channeling the emotional feelings wrongly. Some even get depressed  and aggressive. These emotional feelings are mostly misinterpreted as love as they express it towards an available female.

The school of relativism states that, what's good for you may not be good for me based on perspective. However for a boy to have a proper perspective on his sexual urge, he has to recognise the place of God as there is no mastery and there can't  be a mastery of sexual urge without perspective. Now, perspective is telling him how he was(created) made to experience this, before the wrong things are put in his consciousness as the perspective must be gotten properly and rightly to help these boys.For example a boy who says or who has been made to believe that sex is food and Food is sex,and so he must get food whenever he wants food has such a wrong perspective and may not have a good marriage or home.

👌Observation: Boys have been left to decipher life for themselves for ages, you hardly see Church or secular programmes educating boys on their sexuality, such programmes are mostly for girls, too bad though. 😃.


👭👭Can we Guess where these boys learn?


From their friends who are also limited in knowledge as they are in the same category.

Second source is Tv,📺 movies where fantasies are preached and so they find crushes and infatuate.

Third source are books and magazines of Biology 💻📒📒📒where they learn technicalities not emotional solutions of any kind. It tells them what the scrotum does but not when or how to control it when the urge comes.

📱💻The fourth source is Pornography.This even destroy marriages and its a wrong source to learn sexuality. Boys who engage in such even undress girls in their imaginations.They are everywhere,especially this age that people earn from porn sites and from sexual perversions.


The fifth source is sexual experiment leading to incestuous acts,rape,etc.

The truth is hard but the truth is, the solution is only in God. As without that you fail.

American society has done so much to control urges but these efforts  are limited and their final conclusions have always been that Christianity and Religion has helped have a grip on sexuality.

*Putting your body under control as you will give account of it after now*

*Some secular options to maintain self control and their shortcomings.*


American Researchers say finding another addiction can help overcome sexual urge. Some are, Alcoholism and workaholism
.
Another is Masturbation. Its even more harmful.

Another is Fulfilling your desires by visiting prostitutes and brothels. Meaning you are not starving your desires but feeding it, doing yourself more harms considering the outcomes of such action and there may be no stopping.

Also abstinence from Pornography.

Counselling and Therapy. Talking to experts and opening up for help. In this regard, emotion is stronger than knowledge. Who knows what the counselor is also battling.

Medications like Anti estrogen, antidepressants, mood stabiliser etc, this can also lead to addiction.

The only solution is a Godly perspective. Begin to register it in their consciousness when thet are very young. For as many boys that are caught in the web already, they can /should seek God intimately and personally not just attending church or participating in Church activities. He can help instill needed self control.

Such boys should be disciplined to study books that help instill self control like the Bible.

Watch out against sexual urge triggers. Observe and be intentional about it. Starve the urge, do not feed it, so it does not develop.

Surround yourself with like minds.

Spend time to pray.

Talk of your urges and crushes with people of like mind who will help you not to fall into the urge who also have mastery so as to gain mastery.

Sexual education is good but its not enough without God.

Feeling really loved is not obsession and with every gift comes a responsibility. Your sexuality is one of such responsibilities as God gave responsibility for sex to be enjoyed under the umbrella of marriage.

Teach boys early that its wrong and wicked to see girls as sex object. Let them understand its violation against God's law. Also let them know that boys/men, who have engaged in rape have been jailed as it is punishable under the law of most  countries of the world. Even the Bible in Deut 32:25 gives its penalty as death.

Tell them its wrong not to have control over their sexual urge.

"Let them understand that they should not be at the mercy of their emotions rather they should use it well, enjoy it positively and dominate it.". Vincent Van Gogh here.

Teach boys that God has made resources  for help and they must own up to this help. The detrimental effect for negative usage of boys sexuality are countless on the society: contracting SDIs, increased abortion, unplanned pregnancy, mood swing, depression, productivity reduction, attention deficit disorder, aggression, rape, daydreaming and undressing girls in classes on their mind etc.

*Your sexuality is your responsibility. Be responsible*

*Compiled by an attendee*.
Shade Odumuyiwa
(2020).

Still on Tolu Arotile

Its really saddening that in Nigeria, a young person cannot achieve great heights in peace through hard work and get rewarded. Just wondering how she would have been celebrated as a young officer, female for that matter, if she were to be in a developed country. All efforts would have been in top gear not to lose her to anything, not even a premature death the way it happened.

The elder sister who had dropped her off at the NAF base talked of suspecting a foul play on her sudden death, having dropped her off  in her own car at about past 4pm  at the NAF base in Kaduna, the day of the sad occurrence. The next call she heard of her  was from Tolu's fiancee who informed her that Tolu was at the ICU, not quite long after that call, she saw the news online of her sister's death. She talked about being disappointed  because her younger sister served at such  epoch position nationally. She actually heard of her death online.That must have been quite traumatizing for Mrs Adegboye, to think that her third younger sister, who resided with her, the fourth child in the family, her sister whom she dropped off for herself  same day was gone in a jiffy to the land of no return, with no premonitions of any sort?

Her father also stated that someone called him and said 'call Tolu your daughter' he did and her mobile phone rang and no one picked it, some hours after, another person called him that he should call her number he did and this time he was told his daughter was at the mortuary.
So ridiculous!

The likes of achievers who seem to be well protected and untouched in Nigeria are hushpuppiyians, the hushpuppy and other puppies .

Her death is such a questionable one as alot of Nigerians have been expressing their views concerning her death that, there must be more than meet the eye but really this story will  discourage well meaning Nigerians who even have ideas to move the Nigerian society forward having being opportune to train at different capacities, some abroad and some within.

What's the point if at the peak of one's career, the only thing on your mind is to make a positive impact but your struggles  are rubbished, not appreciated and if care is not taken, one may lose his/her, there is no point.

Really, things like this happen even locally in Nigeria, whereby well  meaning Nigerians have studied abroad and are back home to influence positively thereby improving the lot of the nation, they meet barriers through bottlenecks, obnoxious and cruel policies and policy holding,unimaginable corruption conditions,some jealousy, envy and bitterness, they arrive their local communities and villages  from foreign trips and some armed men waylay them, they deny them their continuous existence, they just terminate and kill them in the  process of betterment of their local communities. Even if they end up not giving out money, dollars to everyone in the community, is it not a good name that an achiever is from your local community?
In some cases, African supernatural means are used to end the lifes of some of these innocent persons.

Why do Nigeria still remain this way inspite efforts put in place by sincere persons who are never given a chance to make things work. If really the labour of our  past heroes shall not be in vain, we have to be intentional about it otherwise, its just a joke.

By the way, who are those past heroes? how many sincere ones have we really had who actually had the interests of the nation at heart and not their own personal interest or their future generations' interest?

May God deliver African rulers from overstretched stomach infrastructure.

Fela Anikulapo's songs are just prophecies.

Man owns not his life

At Birth.
All things Bright and Beautiful

At Mid-age
All things clumsy and confusing
Hopes seem dashed
Fears set in
Fear for life
Fear on life
Fear about life
Fear with life
Fear at life

Purpose sought for
Purpose maybe discovered

At midnight
At the height of purpose
Suddenly, the SUN sets

Man returns to his home unhappy
Man returns to his home unexpected
Man returns to his home unprepared

Whether purpose reached
Whether not
Man returns to his home
Man own not his life
Man decides not on it

Achieving what you conceive

Shut up.
Build.
Create.
sell.
Shut up.
The period of shut up is that period you deny yourself luxury and pleasure, you make sacrifices, burn midnight candles, deny yourself even legitimate and basic things of life, as basic as food and drinks just because you have a goal, a vision that must be pursued and a mission that must be accomplished . The period of shutting up is not palatable and its often difficult but at the end,one realises its a worthwhile effort.

Build
This is the time to harness all acquired skills and knowledge perhaps some ideas  acquired in step1 when sacrifices were made and essentials were prioritized.

Create.
Now is the time to launch. Carve a niche. Let people know what you do and why you are unique.

Sell.
Showcase yourself. Let them know the stuff you can deliver and what you are capable of doing and bill your clientele at a cost for effective delivery.

With these steps, anyone can achieve whatever they conceive.

Impact of sugar

1. When you take sugar, your body craves for more.

2.Sugar determines the way your body stores fat.

3.Sugar is linked to  inflammation of the body.

4.It affects Elastin and Collagen in the body which is responsible for tightening and strengthening of the skin.

5.Sugar fastens tooth decay.

6.Sugar can be difficult for the body to digest, maybe one of the factors responsible for  stomach ache for some  females during their menstrus cycle.

7.Sugar can spike glucose level.

8.Sugar accelerates aging.

9.It increases risk of obesity.

10.It increases risk of Diabetes and Heart diseases.